Oh how I LOVE this technique! It’s probably one of my favorites 🙂
Two things make this technique super-powerful. First, you are reflecting his masculinity back to him in a very direct way that he understands and appreciates.
Think about all the times in your relationship when you cut him down without even realizing it.
If you are saying in shock “Felicity, I NEVER cut my man down!”
Stop… and listen. And answer honestly if any of these phrases sound familiar…
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- You always forget to do the things I ask you!
- I do all of the work around here, a little help would be appreciated.
- You are loading the dishwasher wrong. Here, just let me do it.
- No! Towels get washed in their own load on hot. Don’t mix shirts in with them.
- Here is your “honey-do” list for the weekend.
- You never surprise me romantically anymore.
- Wow. A new vacuum cleaner for Mother’s Day. Thanks.
- When are you going to finish that yard project. You know, the one you started LAST summer?
- Take your boots off at the door. You tracked mud and dirt all through the house!
Ouch.
Sure, these are pretty extreme examples, but if they sound even remotely like things you say to your guy, it’s important to listen.
When we talk to men like this, they feel scolded, nagged, and all around less than powerful and manly. It feels like we’ve become their mother, telling them what to do.
And the thing is, we do this both directly and in subtle ways that erode his sense of manhood. We don’t mean to do it. And we don’t even realize we are doing it.
And once you learn how these words hurt him, you might feel ashamed and guilty. But now you know, right? AND you can use this technique to build him up and make him feel masculine again.
Now, does it mean you can’t ask him to help around the house or lose your shit when he tracks dirt all over the place? Not exactly. We are human after all! And it’s not a hall pass to never help you out.
However, if you speak to your man like this without taking steps to counteract it and build his masculinity back up — your relationship is going to be in trouble. In some ways, I think of this technique as a relationship saver!
In general terms, when you build up his masculine self and he feels good, he is more apt to focus on you and your needs. I see it as a win-win. And you know, I could write a program teaching men about women’s sexuality and how to feed your desires. Maybe I will 🙂
The second way the Lust Mirror is powerful is that it engages you both in a frenzy of heated dialogue that practically makes you explode with lust for each other.
That’s the part that is so much FUN 🙂
Here is how it works
You are going to engage in a back-and-forth conversation all about sex and desires via text.
Remember the game you played as kids where each person in a group added a line to build a story? That’s what is happening here, except it’s just the two of you creating the story.
First I do this, then you do this. Then you do this, and I do this.
The entire time, you are fueling his masculine desires as well as showing him how you yearn to be touched, kissed, licked, teased, sucked…
Example of the Lust Mirror in action…
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- Me: Let’s create a little story together, ok? 😉
- Him: Um, sure?
- Me: I will write a line and then you write a line. Sound good?
- Him: Ok
- Me: I just took my shower and I’m getting dressed. You walk into the bedroom. With a grin and without saying a word, you walk over to me and put your hands on my…
- Him: I put my hands in your hair and pull you close for a kiss. Then one hand wanders down your back, to your bare ass.
- Me: You give it a little smack 😉 You are wearing too many clothes. So I begin to pull off your…
- Him: Pants! You naughty naughty girl 🙂
- Me: Oh yes, I love being your naughty girl 🙂 I pull down your pants and sink to my knees. You are practically begging me to…
- Him: Suck my hard cock. I love how you give me a wet BJ 🙂
- Me: I love pleasing you that way 🙂 I’m looking up at you while I have your dick in my mouth, and you moan. I’m overcome by desire for you, so I stand up suddenly and pull you…
- Him: You pull me onto the bed. I know you want my cock but I want to make you cum first 🙂
- Me: Mmmmm… how’d I get so lucky? You move my knees apart and cover my pussy with your mouth. You tease my clit with your tongue. Flicking and then gently sucking…building pressure and speed until I…
- Him: Until you let out a big long moan. Your whole body is shaking as I make you cum.
- Me: Damn baby, you leave me breathless. I can’t wait to see you. Hurry home tonight! 🙂
You can see that we each altered things slightly. He also didn’t provide cliffhangers, but that didn’t stop me from giving the next bit of the story. I also said his words back to him a few times. That builds confidence, reinforcing that I like what he’s saying.
The Lust Mirror story doesn’t have to end in any particular way. In this case, I had a conference call I’d forgotten about, so I needed to wrap things up quickly.
Kicking it off
The first time or two you do this technique, you can open it up by sending a text that says…
Let’s create a story together… I’ll say a line, then you say a line.
It’s fun once you’ve tried this out a few times to just jump into it out of the blue. Send a text with a sentence describing an action without telling him you are creating a story. After you’ve done this a few times, he’ll understand what to do next 🙂
Volley back and forth
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- You begin by saying what you’re doing and what he’s doing.
- As I step out of the shower you are standing there naked…
- You wake me up by running your hand over my tits…
- I’m washing dishes and you press up behind me, kissing my neck…
- We’ve just gotten home from a night out, we walk in the door…
- We were on the couch watching a movie…
Next you need to give a cliffhanger to your sentence so he has to fill in the next bit of action…
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- … and then you…
- … then I say…
- … then you touch my…
- … then I begin to…
- … then you ask me to…
- … then I ask you to…
- … I take off my…
- … you take off your…
Now, he will volley back with the next part of the story. It will keep you on your toes since you won’t know what he will respond with. That is part of what makes this exciting: you can’t plan too far ahead for it. Play off of what he says to you.
He might not remember to add in the little cliffhanger, but don’t let that stop you from sending your next part of the sexy story.
The beauty of using texting is that it’s okay to take a minute to craft your reply. You can also be spontaneous and type out what immediately comes to mind. Don’t think about it too much or be critical. Momentum is sexy, and believe me, he’s not analyzing your grammar or sentence structure!
Use what he sends you to inspire your reply. Giving appreciation and positive strokes are key to amping up the lust. When you do it for him, he’s likely to follow suit. Notice how in my example, I give him appreciation several times.
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- I love being your naughty girl
- I love pleasing you this way
- I’m overcome by desire for you
- How’d I get so lucky?
- You leave me breathless
- I can’t wait to see you
I also reinforce the technique I like him to use when he gives me oral. Flicking and gently sucking and then building up speed and pressure. Even though this is through text message and a made up story, I’m coaching him on what feels good for me.
Pay attention to the things he says to you, too. He’s probably giving you lots of clues about specific things he enjoys or wants you to do!
Also, if the story takes a weird turn, you can always steer it in another direction. The plot is yours to create! Course correct with these phrases…
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- I love what you are doing but I surprise you by…
- I want to tease you by slowing things down so I…
- I’m overcome by desire so I…
Your story will likely naturally follow a similar rhythm and order of events that sex does.
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- Foreplay
- Oral sex
- Intercourse
- Orgasm
Does it mean you have to follow this order? NOT AT ALL! Many times I use the Lust Mirror and only take it as far as oral sex. Sometimes it’s both of us, sometimes just one of us. Other times, it’s the full meal deal where we create a story that includes every stop along the way.
There isn’t a wrong way to do this!
I always like to follow up at the end with a positive line like
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- You make me feel so good.
- You know just how to please me.
- You always satisfy me.
- I love how you leave me so satiated.
- I love making you feel good.
- I love making you cum hard like that.
- And then the final message is looking forward to real life sex 🙂
- I can’t wait to see you.
- Be ready when I see you.
- Hurry home.
- Can’t wait for this weekend.
- Can’t wait for tonight!
- Cut out early from work and come home now 🙂
Frequently Asked Questions
What if I start the Lust Mirror and he doesn’t respond?
There may be a few reasons for this. Maybe you caught him at a busy moment. Wait a little while and send a message saying something like “You must be busy. To be continued later ;)” Which gives him the chance to answer when he does have a minute to focus and you can go on to other things, too.
If you think he’s not answering because he’s shy or isn’t sure how to respond… I recommend looking at The Boiled Frog to start with. That technique slowly builds up his confidence in texting sexy things to you.
He may even be brave enough to tell you he isn’t sure how to do it. Reassure him there isn’t a wrong way to answer. It’s meant to be playful and fun.
What if he only focuses on me pleasing him when I do the Lust Mirror?
If he seems to have a one track mind, just switch it up on him. Redirect the story to him pleasing you. Tell him it drives you wild when he sucks your nipples or goes down on you. Giving him encouragement this way and describing how great it feels will usually get his attention where you want it.
You can also switch to a technique like the Erotic Action Movie where you tell him the entire plot before using the Lust Mirror.
Or you can be like my friend Sandra who told her husband in a sassy (yet playful) way that he pleases her first in the story and then he gets his reward 😉
