You may have thought this lesson was about overcoming HIS objections. Nope! We are going to take some time to reflect on your objections. Tricky, huh?
At this point in the program, I hope you’ve tried out at least a few of the lessons and found some new and exciting ways to spice up your sex life. And I’m sure there were a few lessons that you read and thought, “NO WAY!”
Not everything I teach you will be in your comfort zone, so I didn’t create this expecting that you’d want to try out every single thing (but hey, if you do, that’s fantastic!).
Sex is a totally personal thing. What turns on one person is a turn-off for another. So it stands to reason that it’s very possible that there are a few things in here that didn’t sound fun to you at all.
That’s cool. And while I always encourage everyone to respect their boundaries, I’m going to ask you to take a leap of faith and push yourself a little.
Right now, I want you to go back and choose a lesson that didn’t sound appealing to you when you read it. Like it made you shrink back in fear thinking, “I could never do something that bold!” or, “Uh, no thanks. That does not sound sexy to me!”
Go back and read through that lesson, and while you read it, ask yourself:
- What exactly freaks me out about this?
- Does it make me feel too vulnerable?
- Does it feel too sexy or out of character?
- How could I possibly alter it to make it feel more do-able?
Spend some time and really think about your answers here. Write them down in your journal.
Ok, so why am I asking you to do this?
It’s not because I’m going to tell you that you HAVE to go do that lesson. But if you feel like you want to after revisiting it, awesome. Go for it!
The reason I asked you to go re-read a lesson that you didn’t immediately find appealing is to get more in touch with your own brand of sexuality. Thinking through the reasons you might be afraid of something or why it doesn’t turn you on is one step. Taking it a bit further to figure out how it could potentially be changed up so that it could be desirable for you is the second step, even if you couldn’t find a way that made you suddenly think it sounded sexy and fun. That isn’t the point of thinking this way.
The point of this kind of analysis is to make you more able to come up with your own ideas for sexual expression. It flexes your creativity. It helps you discover that you are probably more open-minded than you previously thought.
Now, I’d like you to go back and do the same exercise with any other lessons that you didn’t find appealing. Ask yourself those same questions as you read it:
- What exactly freaks me out about this?
- Does it make me feel too vulnerable?
- Does it feel too sexy or out of character?
- How could I possibly alter it to make it feel more do-able?
When you approach sex from a place of “how might I make this interesting for me?” you begin to discover more avenues for pleasure. You also get more creative in your approach to your partner, too. If he is apprehensive, you can guide him to think about how an activity could be altered to make it more enjoyable. Also, if he suggests something outside of your comfort zone, you can easily figure out how it could work for you. You will feel more confident in experimenting, and that leads to more fulfillment for you both!
