In the sales pitch for this program, I promised that I would teach you the one phrase every man deeply yearns to hear. And it’s the one phrase very few women even know or know how to use.
Before I share this phrase with you, let’s take a little look at what it means to be a modern woman.
The Modern Woman
To be a modern woman, you likely went to school to learn a profession or trade. You’ve built a career. You’ve paid your dues and can hold your own in front of your colleagues.
You got there by being independent, focused, and determined.
To be a modern woman, you probably didn’t go straight from your parents’ house to your husband’s house. Chances are, you lived alone or with roommates. You may have cohabited with a boyfriend. You might live alone. Or you may be raising your children on your own after divorce.
You manage day to day by being independent, resourceful, and willing to figure things out when you need to. You’re tough and you’ve got this!
To be a modern woman, you manage your own finances. You’ve given your heart to other men, and most likely you’ve had a handful of (or more) sexual partners. You own a vibrator. You know what turns you on. You are well-versed in everything from mutual funds to why eggs from free-range chickens are better.
You can make your way in the world.
And you’ve probably said you desire a partnership or marriage not because you “need” a man but because you want him.
I hear you, sister. It was how I’ve lived my life and how most of my friends have, too.
The thing that has gotten tossed by the wayside—that seems really obvious, but rarely gets acknowledged—is that men want to feel needed.
Along with wanting to feel loved, desired, and appreciated… at the core of what makes a man feel like a man is knowing he’s a vital part of your life.
That you need him.
And as we’ve gone about living and exercising our independence (which, yay! we absolutely should be doing that), we forgot this one simple phrase that makes a man feel worthwhile and oh so important.
“I need you.”
This is not a desperate or “needy” way of needing a man. This isn’t to manipulate him into fixing your car or “doing” anything for you. This phrase indicates the powerful, heart-centered, and deep sexual hunger way of needing.
We might be able to fulfill all sorts of requirements in our lives all on our own, and many of the things a man used to be “needed” for back in the olden days just aren’t there anymore.
We can vote. We can own property. We can have credit cards in our name. We can get an education and have a career. We can bring home the bacon AND fry it up in a pan!
But when it comes to the yearning for intimate emotional connection to the man we love, that is a need he still fulfills.
He is a vital part of that connection. We can’t feel that intimacy all on our own. And when you recognize how important and necessary he is in your life, you have to own the fact that it’s more than a want.
It’s a need.
And it’s okay to say you need him. And you want him. But the phrase “I need you” is powerful beyond measure when a woman says it to the man she loves.
You know what? It might feel really effing scary to say it. If you are a modern woman like me, it can be downright terrifying.
So sit with it for a bit. Twirl the phrase around your tongue several times.
Think about what it feels like to acknowledge the need. When you get to the place of feeling comfortable with it, tell him.
Tell him, “I love you, I want you, I appreciate you, I respect you, I desire you.”
And I need you.
So many other pieces of this program are playful, explicit, dirty, and sexy. This phrase might be made up of simple words that don’t sound sexual… but I promise you they are. By being vulnerable and telling your man that you need him, it will trigger a powerful and deep sexual connection between you.
