One of the advanced tricks of mastering the Language of Desire is understanding how to build in peaks and valleys to your sexual adventures.
When I first started trying these ideas out, I got overwhelmed and exhausted. I felt like I had to constantly out-do myself. I naively thought that it was a constant progression of more, more, more and dirtier, raunchier, kinkier.
Thankfully, I discovered that wasn’t the case before I freaked myself out and gave up altogether.
In reality, the way you keep the intrigue and interest levels high is by building in some highs and lows. It’s also a way to give him that thrill of the chase he so desires. By varying your levels of intensity and dirtiness, you keep him guessing since he doesn’t exactly know what you will throw his way next.
And don’t forget, surprise is one of the ways you trigger that flood of delicious dopamine in his brain, too.
My point is that there should be highs and lows, some slow builds happening on the back burner while there are some immediate flashes of dirty texts or unexpected naughty romps. And then things cool down a bit for some breathing room and time to connect more romantically and lovingly.
You’ve learned a few back-burner techniques. What I mean by back burner is that they take a few weeks to actually put together, so some of the work is being slowly done over time. Pavlov’s Erection and The Boiled Frog specifically take several weeks. Other techniques like Erotic Telepathy and Romance Rotator also have back-burner components.
When you start out, it’s normal to do one lesson at a time. It’s your trial and error period. After you’ve gone through this whole program and determined what you both really enjoy, you can begin to actually plan it out a bit.
Remember, sex is fun and is the way you playfully connect. When I tell you to plan it out, I don’t mean to make it a chore or something you need to follow perfectly. It’s more to give you a working game plan that will be effective. You are the boss, here!
Examples
I put together two specific examples of plans that you might consider when you create your own, and I’ve created a worksheet for you in this lesson that walks you through planning.
Example One: This four-week plan involves having sex about two times per week:
Days 1 to 7:
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- Back Burner Technique: Pavlov’s Erection (takes 3-6 weeks)
- Immediate Technique: Verbal Viagra
Days 8 to 14:
-
- Back Burner Technique: Pavlov’s Erection (takes 3-6 weeks)
- Immediate Technique: The Cuddle Hormone
Days 15 to 21:
-
- Back Burner Technique: Pavlov’s Erection (takes 3-6 weeks)
- Immediate Technique: none, just flirty texts
Days 22 to 28:
-
- Back Burner Technique: Pavlov’s Erection (takes 3-6 weeks)
- Immediate Technique: Oral Intensifier
Example Two: This four-week plan averages sex one time per week, sometimes two:
Days 1 to 7:
-
- Back Burner Technique: The Boiled Frog
- Immediate Technique: Lust Mirror
Days 8 to 14:
-
- Back Burner Technique: The Boiled Frog
- Immediate Technique: Madonna Moan
Days 15 to 21:
-
- Back Burner Technique: The Boiled Frog
- Immediate Technique: 50 Shades of Experimenting
Days 22 to 28:
-
- Back Burner Technique: The Boiled Frog
- Immediate Technique: none, just flirty texts
Example Three: This four-week plan has one person traveling out of town
Days 1 to 7:
-
- Back Burner Technique: none
- Immediate Technique: Dirty from a Distance
Days 8 to 14:
-
- Back Burner Technique: none
- Immediate Technique: No Touch Lay
Days 15 to 21:
-
- Back Burner Technique: Romance Rotator
- Immediate Technique: Erotic Telepathy
Days 22 to 28:
-
- Back Burner Technique: Romance Rotator
- Immediate Technique: none, just flirty texts
I’m not prescribing a certain number of times to have sex. Some couples average 2-3 times a week, some average 2-3 times a month. And the benefit of planning things out isn’t to have one more calendar you feel pressured to follow… it’s to serve as a guideline for weaving in those intense techniques with the more romantic interludes. It’s cliché but true… variety is the spice of life!
