If you are like a lot of women, sometimes what will get you totally in the mood for sex really has zero to actually do with sex. Help with the dishes, monitoring homework for the kids, doing laundry, or taking out the recycling can be foreplay to some of us at times!
We also enjoy being seduced and romanced to get in the mood and even feel comfortable enjoying carnal pleasures of the raunchy sort.
A lot of this program probably feels like it’s only focused on getting his needs met. And you are partially right. Although, the feedback I’ve gotten from everyone I know who has used this says that their man has become more attentive and romantic by proxy.
However, take heart, ladies. The Romance Rotator is the technique that puts your desire for seduction and romance in the spotlight.
How this works
I’ve mentioned many times that men want to feel desired and masculine. They also want to be the hero in your life. The knight in shining armor who slays the scary dragons for you.
It is that need that you are going to activate with this technique.
Now the way you are going to do that and combine it with the romance you desire may seem a little sneaky. But he won’t be complaining. It’s what you’d call a win-win.
What you are going to do is weave your requests for romance in with seduction AND making him feel like a hero. Sounds complex but it’s actually pretty simple.
Step one: Ask for help
You are going to put a new twist on the honey-do list. Making him feel both desired and like a hero.
Remember our friends Sharon and Mike from module six? I’ll refresh your memory…
Sharon and Michael knew how to have fun with each other. They’d been high school sweethearts who had now been happily married for 22 years. And while they’ve had highs and lows over the years, they still had a lot of chemistry. Anyone who spent time around them saw, Sharon knew exactly how to get Michael’s attention with unabashed flirty teasing.
“Hey, hon, I’m going to go wash the truck!” Michael hollered on his way out to the driveway.
“You enjoy getting those strong hands all slippery and wet, dear. I may have a similar way to put them to use when you are done!”
Sharon uses the Romance Rotator all the time.
When she has a chore for Mike to do, she alternates between making it playfully sexual and making him feel like her hero. In the first example, she dangled a sexy innuendo and possible reward as Mike headed out to wash the truck. Listen as she switches her approach…
“Honey, I could really use your help with something!” Sharon called out.
“Sure hon, what do you need?” Mike asked coming into the kitchen.
“Can you grab the canning jars from the top cabinet? I’d do it myself but that old step ladder feels wobbly and it scares me. Can we get a new one?” she sweetly asked.
Mike easily grabbed the jars she needed and said, “I need to run to the hardware store to grab some fertilizer. I will get you a new step ladder while I’m there, love.”
Okay, so this exchange doesn’t seem particularly sexy. But what Sharon did was ask Mike to help her. Men LOVE to feel useful and helpful. Asking for help was her first step. Then she brought out his protective nature by telling him about the scary step ladder. Could Sharon have run out to the store and gotten a new one herself? Sure. Did she stroke Mike’s ego by letting him be her hero and “thinking of it himself”…totally.
Now before you gag thinking this is some sort of 50’s housewife ploy…think back to the lessons on sexuality. The desire to be his woman’s hero is an integral part of his identity as a man.
Looking for these simple ways to allow him to be your hero are important rather than manipulative. And setting the stage in non-sexual ways fuels his sex drive. It may sound weird but it’s true.
So make your list of things you want your guy to do. If you live together, this is simply part of the equitable distribution of household responsibilities. If you don’t live together, I’m sure there are a couple of tasks he probably wouldn’t mind helping you with.
And if you are newly dating someone, you can definitely use this technique but I recommend it actually be a real situation where you need help. For example, you got a flat tire, something broke in your home and you need a hand, or you genuinely could use his advice on a matter he’s knowledgeable on.
For example, when I was dating I had a car window that went off its track and would no longer move up or down. It was stuck half-way down. A guy I had recently met had a hobby working on cars and he was extremely enthusiastic about coming over on a Sunday to literally help me out of a jam.
Bonus points for me that not only did I get my car window fixed but he looked quite cute during the process ☺
Specifically ASK for help
When you ask him to help you, ASK for his help. It’s simple. But so many times we phrase it in other ways that don’t trigger his inner hero…
I need you to…
You need to….
I want you to…
Instead, phrase it as “Will you help me with something?” or “I need your help with this”. Seems subtle to but he will perceive it in a completely different way.
Step Two: Sexy Reward or White Knight
Then decide are you going to dangle a possible sexual reward or bring out his white knight.
Throw in some sexy
You can feed him some genuine appreciation by telling him flirty things like…
You look sexy mowing the lawn. Like my own personal hot gardener!
I love seeing you get your hands dirty changing the car’s oil. So manly!
Seeing you handle those power tools makes me think of some other things you can handle
Hurry and finish that chore…I’ve got another task for you in the bedroom.
The White Knight Formula
To bring out his white knight, simply tell him how he can further help you. If you can add a reason his help will be valuable, all the better. Like in Sharon’s example, she let Mike know that the rickety step ladder scared her. It made him understand why getting the new ladder was important and helpful.
I need your help with ______________.
I value your expertise/help because ________________.
Here is how you can help me even more _______________.
You don’t have to say it in those words exactly. That’s just the formula to remember 🙂
Step Three: Plan some romance
A lot of women complain that their guy isn’t romantic. And it’s true…a lot of men have no clue what romance really means to a woman. It’s a bit of a foreign language since it’s not generally part of their sexual needs. Add to the confusion factor that romance isn’t some universal thing…it can mean different specifics to each woman.
What romance generally boils down to is feeling appreciated and adored. However, men are not mind readers. They respond to simple and clear directions.
So this step is going to involve you telling him exactly how he makes you feel appreciated and adored, both sexually and not sexually. This is Part A.
I feel adored/appreciated by you when you…
…take me out to a nice meal.
…arrange for a babysitter so we can have a date night.
…bring me flowers for no reason.
…run your fingers through my hair.
…kiss me sweetly when you get home at night.
…sneakily grab my ass when we are out in public.
…spend a lot of time on foreplay.
…when you do what it takes to make sure I’ve had an orgasm.
…send me out to get a mani/pedi while you watch the kids.
…cook dinner and do the dishes after.
…massage my shoulders after a long day.
I’m sure you’ve got a bunch more things you can add to the list. The point is, you are going to tell him the specific ways he makes you feel adored.
Part B is when you outline that when you feel adored and appreciated, you get horny. Because it’s probably true! When you feel validated, understood, valued, and appreciated by your man…those sexy feelings start to flow.
So now, you are going to tell him that!
When I feel adored/appreciated…
…I want to have sex.
…I get turned on.
…it makes me horny.
…I want to drag you into the bedroom and show you how much I love you, too.
…I want to give you a BJ.
Whatever it is that you want to do, tell him! It can be sweet or it can be explicit. Personally, I usually go with sweet and then shock him with a totally graphic reply.
Me: I felt so adored by you when you massaged my neck and shoulders after I was so sore from my workout.
Him: I knew your trainer kicked your ass and you were feeling it.
Me: Well, you know that when I feel adored, I get turned on. I think your cock needs a special tongue massage…
Side note – Geez, what is it with me and blow jobs all the time? 😉
